Monday, June 20, 2011

Something great will come of this.....

Now that school is out, I feel like I should have more time....not so.  I think it's about to get busier.  I am proud to say my T1 diabetic child made All-Stars!  Proud really doesn't explain it.  He hasn't once let this disease stop him or get in his way.  The only conflict was in the beginning of the season on how he wanted to disconnect while playing.  I pray everyday that this only makes him stronger and more diligent. Here's how today's morning prayer started.....

Dear Lord.....
Place your healing hand on my husband, bless his doctors that they may have answers.  Keep him safe and aware. Be with my son and take his burdens from him, remove the picture stuck in his head of his father having a seizure and replace it with good thoughts.  He has so much to carry, it just isn't right.  Bless the baby, give him ears so he may hear me and keep him safe for he has no fear.   AMEN

For the record, the "baby" is three and he does have ears - he just doesn't always use them!

As we lay in bed early Saturday morning (Father's Day weekend and also my husband's birthday), our oldest comes to my husband's side of the bed to talk "baseball bats."  No sooner did he get to the side of the bed, when I felt the tenseness of my husband and could hear the mumbling almost at the same time the tears came from my son.  I immediately knew what was happening, I slapped my glasses on so I could see.  My son grabbed the phone and started to call 911.  A few years ago I would have let him but I have become quite calmer now.  I simply took the phone and sat it down.  I had to see where this was going first.  Thank God, it was a mild one.  They don't happen often but one is enough if you've ever witnessed it.

Let me take you back about five years to Christmas eve.  My husband and son were Christmas shopping about an hour away when he called to say they had been in an accident.  He had hit someone from behind - he said he just didn't see her.  We had a Tahoe, so our damage wasn't much in comparison to her car being totaled.  I thought his explanation was odd but I didn't think too much about it.  Several hours later as we sat in church at Candlelight service, I felt the tenseness (this was the first time so I didn't know what was about to happen).  There, stuck between two pews, he suffered a grand mal seizure.  Definitely one of the scariest events I have ever witnessed.  I thought I was losing him, forever.  I thought he was having a massive stroke (he suffered strokes at the age of five and 23).  My son was there for both events and most from then on. It turned out the earlier "accident" was my husband having a series of petit mal seizures.

My son is very sensitive and aware.  Not only does he carry the burden of diabetes but also of his father's disorder.  I want to scream "It isn't fair!" and "Why him?"  But the fact is if it wasn't him, it would be another child and my God has given it to my son because He knows what he will do with it.  I know that will be something great.  I know all of this will be his testimony one day.  It has created a greater bond between us.  It has made us look at life with a totally different attitude.  A lot of things don't matter anymore and the smaller things do.   We have an appreciation for life that most people don't.  I pray every time my husband gets in the driver seat. I pray for the times he isn't able to drive because he has to "wait" for the okay.  I will do the same when my oldest starts to drive I'm sure.  But today, we take it ONE day at a time, one hour at a time, a bolus at a time, one BS check at a time.....

2 comments:

Misty said...

I am so thankful that we know a man who can!! God is and will be with us when no one else can be. I also know that something great will come out of this.. God is in control!! Congrat's on the all-stars..
Love and prayers :)

Amy Stevens said...

And, I sit here, in my ignorance, thinking......I had no idea. My mother had a grand mal seizure several years ago. My sis witnessed it. I gathered the kids at about 11:00 at night and flew in to Tennessee. Johnny had to stay behind. When I arrived at the ICU unit at UT Hospital, I'd never seen my mother look like that. I was sure that "this was it." Goodbye...unplanned and unforeseen. Several days passed, and she didn't know who I was when I went to her bedside to sit with her. This has been my seizure experience, and I was profoundly affected by those moments and those days. Your husband is dear and his love of his family is evident. I, too, will pray for his continued health and safety.